Privacy disrespected

They did not tell me to wear a different cloth. They attacted my inner citadel. And expected no war. When it came, they called it machismo.

And they went on in this manner for the last thirty years.

With the sad cooperation of my father. For some reason we stopped the sympathy that collored the years of my childhood. It all turned black and white, and he blamed me. I was vulgar like my mother, I left him alone.

But I was not! He confused it all!

I felt humiliated , his revenge also eyed my inner citadel. In his confusion he thought he could do that. He did not follow the protocol. An adolescent is allowed to read the books he likes. Jealousy of the seven pillars of wisdom was the outcome of too much insecurity.

He was suffering too much to be able to see my suffering.

And they all invaded my privacy.

In the end, even my masturbatory fantasies were public. And when I decided to die, again, they called it machismo.

They are all so proud people. "Speak bad but speak about me". That´s their moto. And for proud people, that goes well. But not for me.

These people think they are their production. They think they are doing such interesting stuff all the time. Perhaps above all, they believe they have interesting problems. Vanity reaches peaks.

What else could I ask for, if I was the centre of the attentions?

I believe some gay people can bear this. But not me.

They are so proud! They want to win! Anyhow!

If Bill Clinton doesn´t invite them for the barbecue that aches!

And they are doomed. Because competitiveness is the greatest hinderer of God, or the cosmos, or the Logos. The source of our true tranquility and happiness.

They made their choice: prestige.

This way, that privacy invasion they could bear, but they lost life.

My request is only one: leave me alone.